How do you rate attractiveness?

It’s no secret that attractiveness is important and that it means different things to everyone, but can you simply rate people’s attractiveness on a scale from 1 to 10? Aren’t people just too complicated for that? I guess it really depends.

If you are rating people simply on their appearance (body language counts here too), then maybe a simple 1 to 10 or even a binary system (yes or no) might be the way to go. I think most of us do this when we first meet someone even if we’re not aware of it. Sadly it would be impossible to get to know everyone equally well, thus first impressions are somewhat like an initial screening tool. While this is unfortunate for many reasons, it is what it is. And this part is easy…you’re either hot or you’re not.

Past this point it gets murky. Most people are not all out compatible with each other. Nor do you perceive each other to be attractive at all times. You may start to wonder…

Do you like me in a hat?
Do you like me pregnant and fat?
Do I like you in the night?
Do you always have to be right?

I don’t like you in that dress.
You always leave your room a mess!
I hate the way you chew your food.
Stop being such a *$%#ing prude!

I could go on…but you get the point – attractiveness is a lot of different things and depends on the context. A friend of mine decided that instead of ranking people, we should use ink blots. His idea is somewhat complicated (though creative) and I can see why most people stick to numbers.

On the other hand, there is something to be said about a more complex evaluation…which makes me wonder if there is actually a validated questionnaire to measure attractiveness. We measure all kinds of other subjective things in science like pain, fatigue, and quality of life, so why not? Maybe that’s the eharmony secret – matching people up by a really in-depth complicated matching ink-blot system (or a lot of questions).

I think my system is more like scrabble – part random, part luck, very creative, and always interesting. It’s like each of us has a set of letters and we put them together to make the best words we can. Sometimes the words are exciting and stimulating, and other times they fall flat. But at the end of the day, we had fun and get a few more letters to take with us for our next game. Instead of seeing just what someone has to offer me, I see the potential for what we have to offer one another. We grow and learn from every person that we meet (whether they were a “10” on the outside or on the inside).

We may not all be 10s to everyone, but who cares? I’d rather spend time with interesting people who are passionate about life and sincerely themselves, whether that means they are into punk and tattoos or triathlons. Life really isn’t about being someone that you’re not, but discovering who you are. And in my opinion, that makes you an 11 every time.


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